Blushblog

Weekend Happenings-CIAA

Why CIAA of Course.  There are a TON of events happening.  Here are just a few. 

If I wanted to hear one of the best voices from NC..........

I'd go to see North Carolina's own Anthony Hamilton.  I'm not sure if he'll sing, but he has a wonderful voice and seems like a good guy.  I imagine that he'll draw a great crowd.

Event: The Official Grammy Award and Album Release Party hosted by Anthony Hamilton
Date: Friday, February 27th
Location: Cans Bar and Canteen | 500 West 5th St | Charlotte, NC
Time: 9pm
Cost: $25 General Admission.  $40 VIP

If I couldn't wait until the nighttime to party................

I'd attend the "day party" hosted by Raleigh and Charlotte's own Blue Goose.  For all of those that can't wait for the sun to drop, this sounds like the place to be.  

Event:  Rendezvous
Date: Saturday, Feb 28th.
Location: Suite at the EpiCenter | 210 East Trade | Charlotte, NC
Time: 11am-6pm
Cost: $12



If I wanted to party with the truly grown and sexy..........

I'd attend the 30 and older party hosted by the Digital Divas.  I often dread going to these type of weekend long events because it seems that all of the parties are geared to 18 year olds.  Looks like the Digital Divas are looking out for the grown folks.

Event:  The Reunion
Date: Saturday, Feb 28th
Location: Blue Restaurant | 5th & College St. | Charlotte, NC
Time: 10pm-3pm
Cost: $15 in advance.  More at the door


More events can be found here on Sarah Aarthun's Blog

It's too late to request tickets for the game.  So if you dont have yours yet, just enjoy the parties!

Blushing Ladies Speak:
Who's going to CIAA?  Come back and write your experiences

One of GPeezy's favorite things!

Hey Ladies!!!! 

Hi there it is GPeezy on the return to help a certain out of commission mother with a quick entry.  Why you ask?  Not just because I am the nicest EVA...but because I have something I want to share with all of my Blushing Ladies!  And I need to do it stat, but first a story....I was supposed to write this sometime today but I had one heck of a day!!!  Meeting after meeting, traffic home, etc.  I needed a calgon take me away moment...but guess what?  I don't have a bath tub.  What am I going to do?  Choke the shiznit out of a neighbor?  Kick down a door?  Yell Boyaca like a fool?  No I used this weeks product endorsement....
    
                                                
Let me tell you right now...this is crack for the skin people and the soul!  But not bad for you.  It is glorious and cost effective!  Once I was in the shower it was like all the worries of the day just drifted away.  I was a new woman!  And then the lotion...again it's as if nothing even happened to me during the day.  I was oblivious, what meeting?  What traffic?  What lame boy that didn't call?  Doesn't matter I just melted it all away.  Go get it girls it's divine! 

GPeezy...out

Blushing ladies speak:  Can a good bath or shower make all the difference when having a bad day?  Or is the best remedy a glass of wine? 

A Wonderful New Addition

Hello Everyone

Great News.  Our own Nadia has delivered a new bundle of joy.  Our new blushing boy was born at 11:45 last night.  Mom and baby are doing great. 

I was fortunate enough to witness the delivery of "our" little one. As you may or may not know, I don't have any children.  So watching the birthing process was quite an experience.

So here are the Top 10 things that I learned from watching the birthing process.

1. Medicine is your friend.  It can take a woman from a candidate in the exorcist to an angel without wings.
2. Once the transition to angel is accomplished, the characters from men in black come in and erase the new moms brain.  This must be the case because the new mom does not remember the incidents and language used before the medicine was administered.
3. During the labor process, non-moms will declare celibacy with every contraction.  Just to be extra sure that this doesn't happen to her.
4. A labor pain can throw a bustling hospital room into complete silence
5. Each stage of the process yields a better room. The "labor room" was like an efficiency apartment.  Small, little amenities and some shared facilities. The birthing room was like a condo. Bigger. More private, bright, and sunny. The recovery room was like a penthouse.
   Flat screen tv's, made to order breakfast, and a comfy couch.
6. During the labor process, the baby will come when THEY are ready.  No matter how much you try to negotiate with them through the belly.
7. Said lack of compliance yields much frustration with the baby that is completely forgotten as soon as the top of that wonderful little head peeks out.
8. The decision that "This is the last baby" can be made by the mother alone and communicated in a loud, stern manner to the husband in between each push.  
9. You can learn a lot from great doctors and wont be grossed out.  Nadia's sister, husband, and I got a quick lesson on the job of the placenta.  It may sound gross to some, but she made it quite interesting.
10. Once the new baby is held, the men in black show up again and wipe away all non-moms previous vows of celibacy and she is once again open to thoughts of having her own.

Thank god for our wonderful blushing boy.

Blushing Ladies Speak

What have you learned from the birthing process?  Non-moms, what have your learned from your friends birthing experiences?

Mom and So Real Economics

I and every one I know are hunkering down on the dollar, watching for sales, cutting back on the luxuries and suddenly adhering to budgets that were once mocked and ignored.  There is nothing like decreased production numbers at work and not so secret HR closed door meetings to humble a once active member of the consuming public.  Unfortunately, in my profession, when the business world slows so do our services to it.  I wonder if my archnemesis, Sallie Mae, will understand.  (My insightful opinions of the higher education business will have to for another day and another blog.  I need time to cultivate the proper articulation of my angst.  Right now, I digress.)

My new fiscal conservation project has resulted in the end of my weekly visits to Target  to wander through the aisles of beauty and bath products.  Target brand shampoo and its generic tribute to Dove body wash have never been so exotic.  Compare and save.  We have ended the daily runs to Starbucks and opt instead for our quaint little coffee maker.  There is nothing like a Po'Bo' Latte.  Folgers and milk.  Divine.  I now treat my fashion magazines as great fantasy short stories that are filled with wonder and intrigue from far off lands.  Who knew mystical people have such great fashion?  Too bad I can't buy that stuff anywhere.

I know I have expressed my disdain for credit cards in this economy on a previous post to this blog, but I must repeat...Vanquish them from your life.  If they were thieving opportunists prior to this economy, they are now rogue stormtroopers.  I have heard tales of their war crimes.  If you are five days late on a payment, these dingoes will hunt you down like it is the Thunderdome.

However, this tough economy can inspire creativity and opportunity.  If you are not out spending money, then you should be at home thinking of ways to make money or utilize what you have.  Think of ways to conserve money and network.  I have heard of women getting together to create a "mom exchange".  If you have a child who has outgrown his or her clothing and/or toys and you are looking to clean out what he or she is not using, consider finding a mom or moms in your neighborhood, church, job or at your child's daycare who can use your former goods in exchange for something that your child needs.  For example, I have tons of girls' infant and toddler clothes that are in excellent condition, but since I am pregnant with a boy I am looking to exchange my daughter's wardrobe for a boy's wardrobe with a mom in the reverse situation.  Get to know the women around you.  You may be surprised how your can help each other.

BLUSHING LADIES SPEAK:
Have you started a mom exchange?  How is it working for you?  What other ways are you conserving your dollars?  Have fiscal concerns sparked your creative energy?

Atlanta Happenings

If I wanted to see beauty................

I attend the performance by the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater.  They are celebrating their 50th anniversary.  There will also be an acapella performance by Sweet Honey in the Rock.


Event: Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater's 50th Anniversary
Date: February 19th-22nd
Location: Fox Theater,
660 Peachtree St. N.E.  Atlanta  GA  30308
Time: Varies
Cost: Varies


If I wanted to bond with my blushing ladies (which I always do).........

Monologues taken from real women read by extraordinary females.  This play has become a worldwide phenomenon.  Proceeds benefit the Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Power to the Women of the Democratic Republic of Congo.  If you cant make this event click the below link to find out when it will be in your area.

Event: The Vagina Monologues
Date:   February 20th-22nd
Location: 7 Stages Theater 
1105 Euclid Ave.  Atlanta, GA 30307
Time: Varies
Cost: Varies


If I wanted a new way to enjoy a movie................

Fernbanks Museum is hosting the ultimate event.  Where else can you have great drinks, premium cuisine, live music and movies?  I would definitely attend. 

Event: Martinis & IMAX
Date:   Friday Nights through November
Location: Fernbank Museum of Natural History  767 Clifton Road, NE  Atlanta, GA 30307
Time: Starts at 5:30.  Live Music begins at 6pm
Cost: $15 for adults, $14 for students and seniors and $10 for members.  $7 after 6:30 if you don't attend the movie presentation.

Flawless Face

My Product Endorsement of the Day is

Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer 

I happened upon this little gem while I was in Nordstrom waiting for my turn at the MAC counter.  I wanted to look extra special for my cousins wedding.  As I was patiently standing in line, I heard a "Pstt" and saw a girl gesture me over to her counter.  I'd never even heard of Laura Mercier, but thought, hey why not.  

Now, I'm not a huge make-up wearer.   Two things keep me from it on a daily basis.  Lateness and Laziness.  I feel like I don't have time to put on a "full face" in the morning.  I'd rather sleep for another 15 minutes.  So for special events, I let the professionals do their thing.  

Over the years, I've purchased many brands of foundations that the make-up person assures me is SO easy and quick to apply.  Um, not so much.  It usually ends up thick and requires a lot of blending to ensure that I don't look like Joan Crawford in her stage makeup in Mommy Dearest.  But alas, I have finally been rewarded for my commitment to finding the flawless face.  

Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer is easy to apply and stays with me all day.  It blends wonderfully without a "cakey" feeling.  I'm not afraid of my cheek brushing up against the collar of my coat and leaving a smudge.  You can use it in conjunction with foundation or on it's own.  I prefer to use it alone.  It already has SPF 20 added, so if you choose to mix, it's a great way to add SPF to your existing foundation.  

It garnered two Allure Best of Beauty awards.  So novice make-up appliers stand up.  There is hope for us yet.  The moisturizer retails for $42.00 and is available at various major department and cosmetic stores such as Sephora.  You can also buy it online at Laura Mercier's website.  

The Laura Mercier website is hosting a one-day sale on February 18th.  They are offering free next day shipping.  If you're as impatient as I am, this is a great offer. 

Blushing Ladies Speak:

Which foundation or tinted moisturizer do you prefer?  Do you have a review of this one?

Forgive but not Forget

 
I spoke to a good friend about relationships yesterday.   She's been married for over 5 years and loves her husband.  Unfortunately, her husband hurt her early in her marriage.  No, not physically.  He hasn't completely lost his mind.  He was real Eric Benet with his.  He never slept with another woman, but he behaved inappropriately.  So now her trust is altered.  She's working on forgiving him, but says that she sees him completely different now.

So the question that was asked is how do you learn to trust once that bond has been broken?  We've all been lied to at some point.  But what do you do when the person that you trust most lies to you.  

If you'd asked me this question about 10 years ago, the answer would have been cut and dry.  The dude is automatically out of there.  Sex or not.  Any form of betrayal will not be tolerated and he'd be sent packing.  And the only thing that he'd be allowed to take is my foot because it would still be in his behind.

But now in my older age (keep in mind that I would NEVER tell my significant other this), I tend to look at things a little different.  What would I be willing to forgive and what wouldn't I?  What if he messed up in year 40 as opposed to year 5?  Would that make a difference?  I'm not sure.   And would it make a difference if I was the only person who knew about it.

I've had the opportunity to see many marriages.  Some have thrived while others have floundered.   Some people have been betrayed at some point, but don't know it.  And those marriages are still rocking and rolling.  I have one friend who asked me not to tell her if I caught her husband out with someone else.  Since he and I are cool, I could confront him if I wanted to, but she'd rather not know.  If she knows, she has to act on it, and that's not something that she chooses to do.  And she's a little afraid of what she'd do to him.  While it's not what I want, I respect her for knowing how much she's willing to handle and I don't judge her for her decision.  I'll respect it.  I love both she and her husband.  But if i caught him out with another woman, best believe,  I'll bust that little meeting up.  Of course it's none of my business, but there will be no smoochin in my presence.  They'll have to take that somewhere else.   

At least she knows that she doesn't want to be faced with what my other friend is going through.  Trying to trust her husband the way that she used too or maybe choosing to show him the door and become a single mom.

My friend is prayerful and hopefully her trust will be re-established brick by brick, in time.  But I'm sure that she wishes that it would hurry up already!!!  I honestly don't know what my breaking point would be.  It's hard for me to say until I'm in that situation.

Blushing Ladies Speak:

Did you ever forgive and forget in a relationship?  How long did it take for you to see your significant other the way that you used to or do you?  What's forgivable and what's not?

He's Just Not That Into You?

What do you mean he's just not that into me?  Why wouldn't he be?  I'm me.  I'm an educated, young professional who comes from a good family and loves romance?

Although I have been married for a couple of years now, I remember the haze of confusion that could accompany dating in the city.  This weekend, my sister filled me in her latest dating dilemma.  It is a classic story to which most women in our age group and demographic can relate - the age group being 25 to 32 and the demographic being young professional women in major metropolitan areas.  So the story goes, he, another young professional, energetically pursued her, called her, expressed interest in her, sought her trust, and all seemed well.  She is a good girl.  She allowed him to pursue, to take the lead in the development of the relationship, and refrained from giving up the good stuff.  Then, as the single life would have it, he fell off.  He blamed the pressures of being a young professional.  Now, he is in the wind.  Weeks have passed.  Refusing to engage in a chase, she has not called him.  So what happened?  How does a man go from hot to cold so quickly?  Was it indeed the job?  Was it another woman?  Was it her old school values of not giving it up?  I explained to her that while he is in the wind now.  He will ring again.  They always do.  The question is whether she will bother to answer the phone.

I watch her maneuver the maze of single life and recall the lessons from our father.  The countless lectures and now golden quotes about respecting yourself, not compromising yourself, and demanding that a man be a man.  It was from my father that I first understand the meaning of courtship.  The problem is that it doesn't appear that the men understand the meaning of courtship or aren't willing to engage in it.  So, what happened to courtship?  What happened to the man making his intentions known and apparent?  What happened to the gentleman?  When I was single woman, I took my share of bumps and bruises.  While I understand what my father was saying in those lectures, the application of those pillars were usually far more complicated.

So often, it appears that men and women don't know what to expect from each other.  The men, thriving on ego, behave as if women should be so honored that they would pay them a little attention that they twist and turn in the wind at will.  If we are being honest, the truth is where one woman refuses to put up with the flightiness ,there are three other who will.  Women quickly realize that dating in the city often comes with a compromise of standards.  Does she compromise anything?  If so, what?  What standards are negotiable?  The questions become more intense as age begins to wrap like the lines on a tree trunk.  If we are being honest, most women want it all.  Some are content to have just career.  Most want it all - career, husband, and family.  I mean, that's the traditional American dream.  There is nothing wrong with wanting it all.  The problem is most men know it and use it to their advantage.  Men know when they have a good woman but they also know that in the city there are many more and to some degree feel that it should be their mission in life to meet and date all of them.

It is an inconvenient truth that minority women tend to have it even harder.  I say to minority women, where the men of your same minority pass you by try dating outside of your minority.  I say this especially to black women who rarely date outside of their race.  Differences can be beautiful.  You just have to decide what differences are good differences and which may be polarizing.

My advice to my sister... Don't call him.  Don't compromise.  Don't answer when he calls.  Wait as long as you can for your gentleman but don't be hardened by the wait.

BLUSHING LADIES SPEAK:
What are the experiences of ladies in rural areas or small towns?  For the city girl, what is your dating experience?  Have you compromised?  If so, what and did you regret it?

Weekend Happenings - Chicago

If you live in the Chicago area or plan to be there this weekend, here are a few ways to spend this holiday weekend.

Valentine's Day Eve Tease
A little Burlesque goes a long way, especially with a few drinks under your hat.

Who:      Belmont Burlesque
What:     The Broken Hearts Burlesque Ball
When:    February 13, 2009 at 10:00pm
Where:   Abbey Pub located 3420 W. Grace Street, Chicago

Holiday Slaughter
Have a more sinister view of Valentine's Day?

Who:      Jason Voorhees
What:    Friday, the 13th
When:   Opening Friday, February 13, 2009
Where:  Check local theatre showtimes

Comedy
Whether it is to keep from crying or to share a chuckle with a friend or lover, there is nothing like a good laugh on Valentine's Day.

Who:      Elizardi Castro
What:     Puerto Rico:  Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Spanglish
When:    Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 8:00pm
Where:  Chicago Center for the Performing Arts

Musical Theatre
If you and your Valentine's Day guest or friends would like to spend the evening with a few good singing thespians, then you may want to check out the premier performance of Cupid Has a Heart On: A Musical Guide to Relationships.

Who:      The Cupid Players
What:    Cupid Has a Heart On: A Musical Guide to Relationships
When:   Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 10:30pm
Where:  IO Theatre located at 3541 N. Clark Street, Chicago

Reason #345 on why motherhood scares me

I once had an ex-boyfriend ask me, "Where does your self-esteem come from?"

So of course I had an insightful and prolific answer.  I shrugged and said "I don't know."  I went on to state that I'm sure that it came from somewhere in my up-bringing, but I can't pinpoint any one event.   Now don't get it twisted.  My life has not been perfect.  My parents split when I was 2 and my mom was a single parent.   My father was battling his own issues and wasn't a consistent presence.  But at no point did I ever think that it was my fault or that it was my job to get them back together or fix things.

I'm not a mom yet, but I think that when I become one, one of my greatest responsibilities is to teach my child, especially my female child, humility and self-esteem.  But how in the world can I know the magic thing that will accomplish that!  I see girls all the time that are battling self-esteem issues in their teen and adult life.  I commend them because I know that the mind is a hard thing to change and old habits die hard. 

Keep in mind that I'm not superhuman.  I've had many moments of insecurity and uncertainty in both my teen and adult life.  But it never seems to stay.  I can usually shake it off at some point.   By the grace of god, I'm usually oblivious to things that other people seem to find issue with.

Case in point, In high school I was too skinny.  Way too skinny.  People actually said that to me, but I didn't know what they were talking about.   I was eating normally and it was the only body that i'd ever had, so I didnt know the difference.  Now when I look back at pictures, I think, man.  I was too skinny.   But I'm kind of glad that I didn't realize it then.  

Now I would like to lose more than a few pounds, but I'm grateful that I still have a shape.  TV, ads, etc isn't the thing driving my weight loss.  Wanting to be healthier, being able to wear certain clothes, and not putting so much wear and tear on my shoes (just kidding, well only a little) are driving my desire to lose weight.  I love myself now, but I'd be proud of myself if I can be disciplined enough to drop a few dress sizes. 

I don't want to be paper thin like the models and the women that are seen as "perfect."  My perfect has never matched TV.  And I've known and accepted that for a while.  But I realize that not all women feel this way.   I've seen the effects of low self-esteem and self-worth.  It can lead to depression, eating disorders, promiscuity, addictions, and overall bad life decisions.  How in the world do I combat all that?

Motherhood is one of the most important jobs that i hope to tackle.  How in the world can I expect to shape what may be one of our future leaders   Or just an overall great person.  I don't plan on making this a reality anytime soon.  I saw a special on the Today show that got me thinking about it again.  I know that we have a lot of moms that read our blog, so I decided to take advantage of the feedback while I have it.  I trust that God will make these things instinctive when it's time, but i'd be lying if I said that it didn't occupy a small part of my mind space. 


Blushing Ladies Speak
Do you moms and non-moms ever think about this?  What do you think shaped your confidence and self-esteem, good or bad?

**Disclaimer, I am by no means perfect..I have plenty of other issues to keep the field of psychiatry gainfully employed (all of my friends are listing them in their head right now) .