Blushblog

Rule 4080 - Keep House Business in the House

When I was a little girl, my mom would always say that it is important to "keep house business in the house".  For those of you who did not experience an ol' school mother, this means don't go around spreading all your business.  Now, this ( for me, at least,) does not include sharing some things from time to time with a friend in order to vent a little.  We all need a soundboard from time to time.  It does, however, mean you should not go spreading all your business or even some of your business to your associates and coworkers, especially when your associates and coworkers do not give a damn about you.  You know that there is a story behind this blog.  It goes like this...

My coworker is a young and personable 26 year old who is fresh out of grad school and fresh out of his mother and father's basement.  He has a booming voice and has a few boundary issues but believe it or not it is actually endearing, like your annoying little brother who you secretly want around. One day he informed other coworkers and me that he is getting married.  We gave him the obligatory but sincere "I am so happy for you" and "Congrats".  As the weeks passed, he grew more and more stressed and we learned that his fiance and his mother are not getting along, but instead of him just leaving the story at "my fiance is being a bit of a bridezilla and my mother is a very traditional and pushy woman" he proceeds to lay out every bitter detail to a conference room of 8.  By the time the our boss came in to start the meeting, the lucky 8 of us learned that his sister and his fiance damn near came to blows, his fiance is not getting along with her parents, his mother wants to invite every relative who shares a drop of blood from her homeland of Greece, his fiance sent him an email with excerpts from her favorite blogs defining the boundaries of the mother of the groom, how he has been telling every detail of his fiance's actions with all of his boys and how they know don't like her.  He showered a never ending waterfall of personal information that none of us really cared to know or asked about.  I am sure you can imagine that as soon as he was out of earshot we all commented on how immature and sloppy it was for him to tell all his business at work.

I thought a big mouth woman was annoying.  There is nothing worse than a big mouth man.  Now, if I were his fiance, I would be pissed.  I am sure she would not be happy to know that the man she is about to marry is spilling their business to anyone who will listen.  I am sure she would not be happy to know that he is also telling all of his friends all of their business and presenting her as some raging maniac.  He will be on the one to blame when she is uncomfortable around his friends when she realizes that they don't care for her and that is unfortunate.

Long story short, both men and women need to learn how to keep personal matters personal.  Not only does it make you look silly and sloppy but it reflects an unflattering one-sided light on your fiance, wife, husband or significant other.  Be respectfully and keep it neat folks.

Gotta Love our Former President

This deserved a saturday post.  Check out the 12-14 second mark.

Curse Worthy Times

Lately everyone has been on this rampage about VP Joe Biden and his foul mouth.  They've also exposed other political pundits when they thought that they weren't mic'd.  While I myself don't curse a lot, I think that cursing amongst adults is up to them.  I tend to keep mine confined to the bedroom (enter 70's adult-movie music here..boing chica boing boing), but anyway I digress.

I have to admit, I hate when I pass a group of 14 year old girls who have mouths like sailors.  I think it takes away from their beauty.  And I do think that public figures have to be a little more careful of who can hear them when they drop curse words.  Especially F-bombs.  For some reason, they weigh a little heavier for me than d*mn, or hell.  I guess because hell can be deemed a place.  Who knows why?  It's definitely not what i'd call a vacation spot.  A curse word is a curse word.

When this story first broke and I was getting dressed for work, they were talking about it on the Today Show, they had a little boy on there who was the President of the No Cursing Club or something. *side eye*.  Ok, ok.  I know.  It's a good thing and I know that it's stupid to say that I don't like to hear kids cursing and then give them a side eye when they create a club not to curse.  But a club?  Really?  Ok.  Club on kids.  Club on.

Now.  In thinking about this whole cursing, swearing, foul mouth thing, the reality is, there are some things that just deserve curse words.  Here are a few.

• Like when I went to Rita's the other day for a regular vanilla ice cream cone and they said that it would be almost $4.  V-A-N-I-L-L-A.  On a regular cone.  Aren't they like a dollar at McDonald's?  No thanks.  I didn't even want one anymore.  Da Hell?
• Or when you like two guys, then you find out that they are friends and you don't want to look all loose, so you have to decide which one to date...and you pick the jerk and then realize that you should've picked the other one...son of a b^$%h!
• Or when you see these  
  HOT DAMN!  I liked him with Eva.  And I know that they just broke up, so I'm not gonna hit him with the call me yet, oh but it's coming.
• Or when you're getting dress for a formal and you're wearing a satiny, silky material and you realize that you don't have to wear spanx.  Work it B*tch!  That deserves a curse and a high five!
• Or when a dude that you are not bound to, and are not presently in a relationship with repeatedly ask you to send sexy naked pictures of yourself to him.  Because of course, he's not going to show anyone.  And he just wants them to think about you when your not there.  F*&k You.  What am I?  An idiot?  It ain't that easy dude.  I've got lots of pics on facebook with my clothes on.  Look at those and hit the bricks.
• Or when you can look around at your girls (friends and family) and covet the time where there 's no drama.  All you can hear playing in your head is Jay-Z's 99 problems....I love my life! 

Blushing Ladies:

What are your Curse Worthy Times?

 
   
  
 
  

Black Beauty

I am a magazine fanatic.  I get so many each month that I can't keep up with them.  By the time that I finish reading all of the magazines from January, I'm getting them for March.  Well I'm glad that I took the time to read my Glamour. 

It had a great article in it by Iman's eldest daughter Zulekha.  Zulekha spoke about her battle with weight and her decision to have weight loss surgery.  And in case your sitting there scratching your head, yes, that would be supermodel, cosmetic mogul Iman.  Zulekha's dad was Imans first husband, basketball star Spencer Haywood.

Most of us have gone through body issues at some point in our lives.  But I can't imagine how hard that must be when your mother is a supermodel, your dad is a basketball star, and your step-dad is a rock star.  That pressure has to be unbearable.  I applaud her tenacity and her desire to find her own way.  I feel like she was re-living this while she was writing because I felt like I was walking down this road with her while I was reading it.

People tend to judge those who decide on surgery so harshly, but to each his own.  Sometimes you get to the point where you need that to start over and that has to be a tough decision.

I've never had to go to these extremes to hide my insecurities, but i've had to do a cover here and there, so I could relate.  Below is one of the portions of the story that I found most gripping.

I awoke the morning of my twenty-eighth birthday determined to make it my most fabulous year yet. Tonight, I thought, I’m painting the town red in that slinky cap-sleeve number that shows off my décolletage. I opened a birthday card from my ex-boyfriend Eric,* who had remained a close friend. Inside was a top-five list of why I was the most wonderful woman he knows. Number three: “Because you always let me shower first—in case the hot water’s tricky.” When Eric used to spend the night, I’d tell him to shower while I made the bed and put on coffee. “The hot water’s tricky sometimes,” I’d assure him, flashing him a smile.

But the plumbing in my building was fine. The truth: At 330 pounds, I had developed heel spurs and swollen knees that made it excruciatingly painful to stand up after lying down for eight hours, so getting out of bed was always an orchestrated event. I’d send any man who slept over off to shower, and once the coast was clear, I’d swing my legs out and put my feet on the ground gingerly, allowing the blood to return to my feet and legs. After a minute, I could stand. After another minute, I was comfortable enough to start walking.

Reading Eric’s card was a powerful reminder that, while I’d done my very best to love my super-plus-size body, I couldn’t keep lying to myself or anyone else. The physical pain I’d endured in my twenties could not continue into my thirties. I had to lose weight.

But how? I have more or less been on a diet since I was eight years old. None of them worked. An overweight kid and already dining for sport, my first was the “Basta” diet. At home, my mother, Iman, a beauty icon and devotee of clean eating, would whisper basta (“enough” in Italian) when I was in danger of overeating. The choice was always mine, and I usually put down the fork. But I also got hip to late-night snacking, raiding the refrigerator and cupboards after midnight. At school I routinely traded lunches, and when I was old enough to buy my own, I would pass over apples for Hostess Apple Pies. We always had plenty of nutritious snacks at home, but there was nothing more satisfying than savoring a secret Twinkie that I exchanged homework answers for. In the end, all I learned from basta was how to make PB&J in the dark.

You can read the full article here at Glamours site

 

Fashion for Him - Get Your Man Right for Spring

We always highlight our fave women's clothes but here are a few picks for the man in your life.

More PF Flyers...

Cheers! Cat's Eye+Camera Suggestion

I was turned on to a new drink thanks to our own Brown Sugar correspondent.  She obtained the recipe from the this website.  It's called the Cat's Eye.   By the time that I went to sleep, I was singing, "Cat in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon."  

That's not really the name of the drink you say.  Exactly!  I say.  Ummm, ok moving on.

I have to admit, I had a hard time finding passion fruit.  I was surprised since I went looking for it in one of my favorite natural stores, Whole Foods.  I ended up finding a fruit blend that contained Passion Fruit and a couple of other fruits.  It didn't contain any sugar, so I made Simple Syrup and added it to the fruit juice.  I went old school when I added the simple syrup to the fruit juice, meaning that I didn't measure how much syrup I added to the fruit juice.  I just added the syrup to the juice bit by bit and tasted it until it tasted sweet, but not too sweet.

Here's the drink recipe, followed by the simple syrup recipe (just in case you find yourself in the same situation).

Cat’s Eye

1 1/2 ounce Tequila (Plata or Blanco)

2 ounces Passionfruit Juice (sweetened)

1 ounce Orange Juice

Shake all ingredients in shaker and serve up or on the rocks.


 
   

Simple Syrup

1 Cup Water

1 Cup Granulated Sugar (Feel free to use Splenda for less Calories)
 
Bring Water to a Boil.  Dissolve Sugar into boiling water.  Once dissolved remove from heat and let cool.  Keep it in a well sealed bottle in the fridge.  You'll find many uses for it, like more cocktails or sweet tea or more cocktails!       

Cheers!!! 

PS, clearly I need a camera.  Suggestions?  Let's try to keep it as close to $200 as possible.

 

Let's Hear it for the Boys + My Find

Lets Hear It For The Boys!!!

Ok, have you ever been so extremely proud of people that you don't even know that you could just burst out in tears.  Alright, maybe not, but I almost did when I read this article.   The long and short of it is that at a high school where only 4 percent of the current senior class read at grade level when they were freshmen, the entire senior class has now been accepted to college.  Many of these kids were from some of the city's roughest and poorest neighborhoods.  That is phenomenal for any senior class.  Much less for the senior class of an all male, all african-american, public school.   Excuse me.  Let me type that in capital letters, just in case you missed it.  100% OF THE SENIOR CLASS OF AN ALL MALE, ALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN, PUBLIC SCHOOL, IN CHICAGO ILLINOIS GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE.   WOW!!!  They deserve to be celebrated and exemplified by all races and genders. 

I heard it noted earlier (sorry I forgot where) that they didn't lower their standards when the administration noticed that many of the students performed below grade-level, they rose the students up.  They didn't make the student's settle for less.  They had the students achieve more.  And now when you factor in what many of them have to go through to even have to get to school, they have overcome more than their counter-parts.  They required longer school days and more english credits.

I think that even as adults, we should pay attention.  This should be a lesson that we should pass on to our children, nieces, nephews and cousins, even if the school system doesn't.  Each of these boys are assigned college counselors from day one.  Can we make it a point to do this within our own families?  School administrations don't rule our roost.  We do.  If school requires kids to read one book a week, why can't parents require an additional.  A lot of districts are lowering standards.  Let's raise them back up at home.  I don't have any kids, so it's hard to offer advice, but this certainly provides inspiration.

At one of the assemblies, Jay-Z's "Every Day A Star Is Born, Clap For Em', Clap For Em, Clap For Em, Clap For Em, Hey" blazed from the speakers.  How True.  How True.

Get it boys!  Congratulations!  Let's Clap For Em'

Please Read and Pass it on.

My Find

I've been on the hunt for a gaudy, 1980's cognac decanter forever.  I felt like goldilocks.  Each one that I found was either too light, too streamlined, or not sitcom/soap opera enough.  I wanted a real 1980's George Jefferson/Dynasty crystal cut heavy decanter. 

I've combed Home Goods, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, CB2, Pier 1, Crate and Barrel, Red Envelope, the list just goes on and on.  I found one on Ebay, but wasn't willing to pay over $100 for it.  That was just asking too much.  I didn't want it that bad. 

Alas, I didn't give up the hunt.  The good thing about stores like Marshalls, Homegoods, and TJ Maxx is that their inventory changes so often.  You have to constantly visit.  Last night, I wasn't even looking and I past this little gem.  It was like I was on an episode of Falcon Crest.

Sorry, that the pictures are a little blurry.  Camera phone photos at it's finest. 

I fell in love with the crystal cut and weight.  Oh and the $20 price tag. 

I think that i'll write them off on my taxes as a security system.  I'll take a drink and hit a burglar on the head with it.  I think that I'll tie a nice satin ribbon around the neck with a label so that I can remember what cognac I have in the decanter.  After a few drinks and after some time, I tend to forget :)  I may come up with another system.  We'll see.

  

Who You Callin A Groupie? Me? Oh Ok

So a friend of mine went to CIAA a couple of weeks ago in Charlotte and the short story is, she got it in with a well known baller.  The player is married, has kids, and is known for getting it in outside of his marriage.  I've known a couple of girls that he's gotten it in with but none that he's "taken care of." 

Now this female has a job and a college degree.  She's cute and just got out of a very long term relationship.  Based on her looks, and i'm sure she was glammed up, it doesn't surprise me that she'd catch the eye of said player. 

After her weekend she came home glowing and super excited about her night hours with him.  She noted that she told him that she was not one of these little groupies trolling through the spot.  When he asked her to go to his room.  She told him that she wouldn't go unless her friends could go.  And that he couldn't talk to her any kind of way.  Also that they weren't having sex and that she wasn't taking her clothes off.

Yeah, but after a bit of time, she went to his room.
Alone.
They both ended up naked. 
And they ended up having sex.

Now, here's where the age old debate comes in.  Does this make you a groupie?  If you ask her, she'll say no.  She is not a groupie.  But what did she do that a groupie wouldn't do?  All her no's don't really count if they changed to yes' in a matter of hours.

My opinion to her was, take it for what it was.  Chances are, he's going to call you a groupie.  He doesn't know you.  He's not going to leave his wife for you.  You got it in. You're single.  You had fun.  Don't expect anything from it.  At the end of the day, it's just another penis inside of you.  It was what it was.  Next.

I think that i respect the girl who says, you know what?  I want to sleep with LL Cool J. If he asks me to go to his room. I'm going. I'm going to get naked. I'm going to walk out.  If he calls me again. I'll get naked again.  And that's all there is to it.  I don't care what you say.  He doesn't even have to remember my name the next day.  Granted, you don't have to care what I think about you.  But that type of girl plays her position.  Way to go.  Hell, don't even tell anyone.  Just do it.  We're all grown.

I mean sitting back thinking about it, i'm sure we all have a groupie list.  Someone who is just so damn sexy, we'd drop the drawers for famous or not.  Hell.  I'm already damn near a groupie for hubba hubba, but he still couldn't have gotten it the other night, but to each his own.  I've never had a one night stand, which is what this amounts to, again, famous or not.

As much trash as I talk about what i'd do to Idris Elba and Mike Bivens (yeah..crush from way back).  I think that my ego is just too big for me to even begin to be regarded that way.  I've met some of my biggest crushes and couldn't even put it out there like that.  But when I talk amongst my girlfriends it's girl I'd blah blah blah, and he'd never know what hit him.  But at the end of the day.  I can't have anyone feel like they have the upper hand on me.  And to me, personally, I feel like the entertainer would feel like they have the upper hand on whoever the groupie is.

But my thing with groupies and jump offs is to own it and play your position.  Those that know me hear me say it a million times.  If you sleep with a dude on the first night, if he's famous, he may think that you're a groupie.  If he's not, he may think that you're "fast" as my grandma would say.  But if you want him, (and it's my preference that you're both single), screw it, take him.  If it develops into something more.  You'll laugh about it while you look at your grandchildren play on the floor.  I've heard of it happening.  It's all good.  But don't get mad when others call you fast, a mistress, groupie, or a jump off.  Because there's a good chance that, that's what you'll be regarded as.  Shrug it off and move on.  You wanted it. You got it.  Who cares.  Problem is, if he belongs to someone else, whoever he belongs to may come along and beat the living daylights out of you.  I would.  So expect it.  Take it.  And limp along.  You two can limp together.  It'll be cute.  It trips me out when girls go, "his wife or girlfriend tried to beat my ass."  Like they can't belive it.  Ummm, if you knew he was married, granted, he deserves to get his ass kicked too, but you are definitely getting a beat down right along with him.  Ok, I digress.

My brother's girlfriend and I had a conversation this weekend about "kept women."  The kind that are kept by famous single men like Kanye, Diddy, and George Clooney.  What if you're like an Amber Rose type of girl.  What if people start off calling you a groupie or a jump off, but you get to travel to Europe and around the country and get to chill at wonderful events.  Again, if you don't have anything else going on.  Shrug it off and live the life.  Hell, you don't have any bills to pay.  Call me from Italy.

On the flip.  What if you meet an entertainer.  You get to know him.  You hang out and you really like him.  How do you make it clear to him that you aren't a groupie.  Whereas you would normally sleep with a dude on a third date, do you have to make him wait until the 8th or something?  Man.  it's a tricky game man.  A tricky game.  I'd say just do you.  If it pans out, it pans out.   Famous men deserve good women too.  But it's shady on both sides of the coin.

***SIDE-NOTE****
After I wrote the above commentary, I came across this blog post.  Love it.  Own it.  What do you think?

Blushing Ladies Speak:

What do you think?  Do you think my friends actions make her a groupie because she played the "no" game first or regardless?  Do you think that none of it makes you a groupie and that it's all good?  Who would you be a groupie for?  And under what circumstances?

~Rae

 

Speed Dating + Thank Yous

Hey Blushing Ladies

This was a very eventful weekend.  So friday I went to my very first speed dating event.  And boy was it eventful.

There were guys from all walks of life there.  None that I see myself wanting to settle down with, but maybe one or two that I can see hanging out with. 

For those that have never been to a speed dating event, I'll tell you how this one worked.  You were given a sheet of paper.  You wrote your name and email addy at the bottom. There were numbers at the top and a column for you to write a "Y" or an "N."  You were suppose to write the name of the person that you were talking to and a Y if you would like to get to know them a little more and a N if you didn't.

They sat the women in a room.  We all sat on a little bench.  The men came and sat next to us.  We talked for seven minutes.  After seven minutes, the men got up and moved to the woman to the left.  The women stayed put.

At first I thought that seven minutes would be a long time, but the time flew kind of quick.  After I got there, I spoke to a few of the ladies while I was waiting for the event to begin and realized that the age range was suppose to be 35-45.  I seemed to have missed that.  I'm 33, so no biggie.  But I wondered if anyone else had missed that as well.  Umm, they did.  There were people from 23-57 in there.  Most of the men were sweet and nervous, which was cute.

But anyway on to the men.  I won't go through all of them.  But the first one that I spoke to was very nice.  Very sweet.  He's one one of those guys that you just really want to like, but there's just no umph.  Hey, you just can't force it.  He said hello to a guy who was speaking to a lady next to me, the second I saw that guy, in my head i heard "Hubba, hubba." I mean really.  I really heard that.  I hadn't uttered a word to him. Hadn't talked to him.  Could barely see him.  The guy that I was speaking to said "Yeah, he and I grew up together."  So anyway.  My first speed dater got a no.  Again, you can't force it. Today, I'm still thinking of who I can hook him up with.  He was so nice.  Nadia has this guy who she always tried to hook me up with because he was such a nice guy.  And I agree, he was nice.  There was just no spark.  Another friend of hers said the same thing when she went out with that guy.  There was no spark.  And it just frustrated poor Nadia so much.  She kept trying to strike a wet match.  But I know how she feels.  When you know two nice people, you wonder why they can't just get together and make nice babies :)

Then there was one guy who had a nervous tick and children older than me..his nervous tick made me nervous...next...

Another one had cute dimples, but he never really seemed to answer all of my questions...I have no idea how old he is or what he does for a living, I know where he went to college, what city he lives in, who he was there with, he smiled a lot, cracked me up, and seemed like he was just there to have a good time.  I could get with that.  He got a yes.  I think that he'd vibe with my friends.  I can't see him being boyfriend material (too evasive), but he made me laugh and I think that he'd fit into my circle.  It's funny how that little fact snuck it's way in, when I hadn't even considered it walking into the event.  But I quickly knew that I probably wouldn't take him seriously and would probably just hang out and have fun with him.

Another guy was young.  I thought he was a bit feminine.  I'll leave it at that.  next...

There was a close talker.  next....wait...a little more about him. He was short.  And i'm short.  So if i'm calling him short.  He was SHORT.  But he was cute.  And he was funny.  He would've fit in with my friends too.  I should've checked yes for him.  But he was there with dimples, so i'm sure that I'll get to see him again.  Maybe he was talking close because he couldn't hear me.  Dang. Hindsight.  Oh well.  As I said, I'm sure that I'll see him again.  I'm not really interested in dating him, but I think that i'd have a good time with him.  And I wonder if he has any tall uncles.

So my last speed date was with hubba hubba.  When he sat down, in my head, I heard it again.  Hubba hubba.  Yeah, so ummmmmm.  He has a son and a set of twin girls.  Ummm yeah.  They are in their 20's.  WHAT!!!  His son has a new baby.  WHAT!!!!  Hubba hubba is a grandfather!  I'm not sure exactly how old he is ( I think that subconsciously, I was afraid to ask), but he's not 50 yet.  WHAT!!!!  I know that i said to him at least 3 times that he didn't look old enough to have kids out of college and that he definitely didn't look like a grandfather.  He looks like he's maybe in his late 30's.  The man has definitely taken care of himself.  He is sexy as hell.  He was extremely funny.  We worked in the same industry, so we had a lot to talk about.  He got a yes (like you're surprised).  Will there be any long term connection?  I doubt it.  I don't have any kids, and i'm pretty sure that he's done.  But there was a strong attraction, so hey, why not keep myself busy while i'm looking.  Have you ever been super attracted to someone and hugged them and they say "ummm" and the hairs on the back of your neck stood up?  whew..lol.it was a good hug.

So at the end of speed date.  You turn your paper in.  If you put a yes for someone and they also put a yes for you, you'll get an email with that persons email address and vice versa. 

I only checked yes for dimples and Hubba hubba.  So I got my email last night.  They both checked yes for me too.  So now what?  I guess I should wait for them to contact me.  I hate this stuff!

So Blushing Ladies what would you do?  Would you wait for them to contact you?

Thank You's

I would like to thank the brothers of the Beta Phi Chapter of the Omega Psi Phi Fraternity for a funky good time at their Mardi Gras celebration on Saturday night.  The Anything Goes band always knows how to rock a party and DJ Kraze kept it going into the wee hours.  The Ques kept it grown folks!

 

 

Spring Dresses

Ladies, it is time to get your shoulders, arms, and backs together.  There are plenty of pretty little spring dresses to choose.  Here are a few that have caught my eye.