Hey Blushing Ladies
Today is more of a ramble than a post
It seems that all i'm hearing these is days is how times have changed. How relationships have changed. People are more apt to be in long term relationships complete with kids and a home, than get married. We hear more about open relationships and jump offs who are content with their status. Just this morning, Tom Joyner's commentator, Stephanie Robinson, spoke about people being more likely NOT to wed. I didn't get to hear all of it, but i'll be sure to catch it online. Anyway, what's happened?
I remember when I was a young girl, all that I could dream about was having a career and getting married. Granted, it hasn't happened yet, the marriage part anyway. But when I dreamed of me and Michael Bivenshaving a life together, we were going to have two little boys and a house together. But in that scenario, I dreamed of us getting married first. Now it seems that girls are thinking of having their boyfriends children and getting married later. Maybe it's because so many of us grow up in one parent households and so many of our friends have one parent households, it all seems normal. Although, I grew up in a one parent household and still knew that i'd be Mrs. Bivens. Or maybe i'm just getting older, so reality it catching up with me.
I told someone about the married man situation that I was in a few weeks ago and she said, so are you still going to talk to him? I probably looked at her like somebody stole my dog. What for? But I think that a lot of girls would've. He was cute, he was nice to me, and hey, him and his woman might break up some day right? Hellz no. It's just not me.
I spoke with another girl about how many married or otherwise unavailable men I run into. To put it simply, most of them aren't single. She corrected me and stated that, there's plenty of them. Some of them are just in "situations." They want to leave, they just haven't yet. Ok. That's fine for her. But for me. I can't see it. If you want to leave, go. Especially if you aren't married, if you just have a girl. Don't leave because i'm there. Put on your man draws and go. But again, alright for some, not for me. The crazy thing is that I wasn't shocked. Back in the day I would've had my hand over my mouth pointing and saying "oooooohhhhh" like Dee on What's Happening. These days I just laugh at the stories and hope it all works out for everyone involved. I'm not much of a judger. Lord knows, I might've done a thing or two in my younger days.
I even know someone who's girl told them that she didn't want to marry him, but she'd have his baby. Seriously? Wow. Now, that one made me take a step back. There's nothing more important to me than the other half of the DNA that I am putting into my child. If it's good enough for my little one, then it's good enough for me. But hey, I am getting up there in age. Who knows what i'll do if I get older and don't find my prince charming. Will I pull an old boyfriend out of the stack and get knocked up? That's a shivering thought. Let's move on.
There seems to be so many people that are happy in their relationships and just plan to dip out every once in a while. Either the other half is in the know and just plan to turn a blind eye or they forgive and forget. Many of the couples in my family that have been married for over 25 or 30 years have lived through some form of infidelity. They seem happy now. Especially the ones in their 70's who don't really have the energy to run around anymore. The old school women just kinda kept home and waited for it to pass. I don't have the nerve to bring it up, but when I speak to the younger wives about how they withstood and how saddened it makes me, they say "wait till you've been married "X" amount of years and talk to me then." So that being said, the cheating isnt new, but I guess more people deciding to deal with it while not married is. And we all know that there are way more women getting into the game. We're slipping out just as much as the men. So are they right? What's going on? I know that i've had to let Mike B. go, but is this whole non-married/jump off role just something that one should expect?