Blushblog

Every Line Available

I went to the grocery store last night and on my way out, I ran into a man that was obviously old enough to be my father.  The image that you have in your head is exactly how he was dressed.  White v-neck shirt, shorts, black socks, and flip flops.  He hit me with every line imaginable:

    "Hey baby, you need a ride to your car.  You so beautiful, I'd take you to your car, carry your groceries, I'd do whatever you like.  I'd take the shirt off my back and let you walk on it so that your feet don't have to touch the ground.  What's your name besides Angel?  Are you seeing somebody?  (I lie and say I am because by my parameters, he's a bit too old for me).  Can I take you to dinner, to lunch, to breakfast?   He says, How long have you two been dating?  He caught me off guard with that one.  I say 8-months.  He says, baby, if he don't know what he wants by now, you don't need him."  I have a feeling that he would've said that even if I said two weeks.  I say "No, I'm good."  He says, "Well baby, I be near you, away from you, whatever you want."  I ended with thanks for the compliments and walked away.  He was a funny end to my day.  

I wonder what he would've said if I said "Ok, lets go out."  It probably would've scared him to death.

Happy Tuesday 

 

Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man Movie Review

I know that we've both been ghost for a while, we've GOT to fix that.  But I couldn't help but write a review on Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man.  I HAD to give this movie it's props.  I attended a PACKED preview screening last night.  My coworker and I were discussing the book before the movie started.  She said that she'd read the book and loved it.  I said that I wasn't really that interested in reading the book.  I just wanted to see the movie.  Nothing against Steve Harvey, but I figured that we all know what we do wrong.  For some reason, we just can't stop doing it.  I don't need to read that I shouldn't overly compromise.  But a lot of times, I do.  I definitely know that I shouldn't give it up to men who don't deserve it or that men should open doors for me.  I know that part.  So why should I read a book.

What's funny is that Taraji P. Hensons character thought the same way that I did.  But I don't have her characters money :).  She was nice and wrong.  I wonder if I am too.

The movie showcased so many major african american actors, singers, and athletes, I wanted to scream "Now take that! And give these people more work!"  As a side note: Can somebody please tell Ron Artest or Peace to the World or whatever his name is to put on some longer shorts.  Please.  I'm beggin you.  

 I don't even need to tell Kevin Hart fans that he was FABULOUS and stole the show.   And if you aren't a Kevin Hart fan.  Go see someone about your funny bone because this dude is HILARIOUS!  

Every woman has been represented by at least one woman in the cast at some point in their lives.  Even if it's not right now.  And we've met at least one of the men that are depicted.  And in hindsight, we thought, man, I wish that I'd done that.  In reality, I'd take Michael Ealy please.  With a cherry on top.  That man is fine.  I'm feeling Terrance J as well. I put him on the radar after he was on "The Game."  Even Chris Brown got a "whew" from the audience.  This movie is great for men and women.  We both have tons of eye candy and we can both relate.

The movie was funny, it moved fast, and it was relatable.  Even if you didn't read the book.  The audience applauded at the end.  This movie gets 2 thumbs up from me.  Go see it.  Pay for it.  Don't get it from the bootleg man.

   

Who loves me babe?

I do.  I also love meeting new people.  Especially new business owners.  You'd be surprised who you'll come across at networking events and small business classes.  Last night I went to a class on self promotion.  Who can promote you better than you?  Who believes in you more than you?  Here are a few things that I noticed.

• The instructor asked that we stand up and tell the class about ourselves for 30 minutes or so.  About half of the people were afraid to stand up.  I've never had a fear of public speaking, but i understand that others might.  Think of how your business can grow if you work to get over that fear.  No one can sell you better than you.
• There were a few people there that were selling a "healthier" coffee.  They gave me a sample and said that they'd give me a call to get my feedback.  Good move.  I'll give you guys my review next week.  I'm drinking it right now.
• These classes are a good idea.  You never know who you might meet and partner with later in your business development. 
• There were a few people there who hadn't found their passion yet.  I give them kudos for taking the class beforehand.  Smart move. 

I hope that i'll be telling you how I ran across one of these individuals one day and now they're huge.  Who knows?

What are you doing with your weekend?  I'll be at an amusement park with family.  I can't remember the last time that I went to an amusement park.  And I have a slight date on saturday night.  Is it a date?  Maybe it's a date.  I don't know.  We'll  see.  Maybe we're just meeting up.  See how complicated things get when you have to write them down?  I'll let you know when it's over.  Either way, I know something, I'll be dressed super cute.  Until next week ladies.....

 

A Question of Loyalties

 
Ok, I have a dilemma that i've been discussing.  So let's say you and your friend are single.  You go to the same gym and a fine piece of fineness also starts attending your gym.  So, you see him at the same time and your girlfriend says "damn he's fine."  You think that he looks good too, so you guys spend the next few minutes talking about him.  Now, your friend is crushing on him hard, but never approaches him.  Again, you agree with her, and you never say anything to him either.  And then one day, it happens.  He approaches you and asks you out.

What do you do?  Who gets dibs?  I've found myself in this situation a few times.  If I don't constantly talk about him, I almost feel like i'd be doing my friend dirty if I go out with him.  I know that it would hurt my friends feelings, but I know that it shouldn't because it's not like they ever went out with him or had any intimate conversations with him anything.  Where is the line drawn?  I know that some of my friends are more sensitive than others, but should I let this dude go because of a crush?

In a second scenario, there's this guy in my office that constantly flirts with me.  I let him know that it's not happening because 1) he's married (although separated) and 2) he's waaay too old for me.  I mean, I think he has a kid closer to my age.  So we've been cool.  We don't talk on the phone.  We exchange how ya doin's and how was your weekend conversations.  Today, I was standing and speaking to him.  One of my friends in the office walked by.  He asked me to hook him up.  I told him that she doesn't do the married man thing (secretly I knew that she just wouldn't be attracted mainly because of his age).  But, I passed along the information.  The first thing that she said was, "didn't he like you?"  I said "yeah, but that wasn't for real, for real.  Nothing ever happened.  He was just talking." 

Now there are some cuties in our building that she likes, but hasn't spoken too.  I think that they are cute, but I don't think that i'm stuntin them half as much as she is.  If one of them approaches me and asks me out, am I expected to turn him away?  Generally, I don't play in my friends sandboxes.  I don't mess with any men that they have dated, slept with, or kissed.  Even if it was 100 years ago.  I just don't get down like that.  But what's your opinion on crushes?  Where do you draw the line?

Don't let him laze out

Yesterday I was listening to my friends radio show.  They were talking about “new school” women v. “old school” women.  Not only in the matters of things like staying home to cook and letting the man be the head of the house.  But things like courting.  Of course, I was largely keyed in on the courting factor.  Two of the ladies that were speaking were already married and one was single.  They stressed the importance of giving the guy a chance to step up and do his thing.  One of the ladies said that her husband didn’t always open doors and such for her.  She said that she wanted it, she asked for it, and he gave it to her. 

 My friend Sean, the only guy in the conversation, said that often women don’t give guys a chance to open doors and such.  We walk so fast and so far ahead of them.  And as soon as the thought came to my mind, the single one said it.  She said that she walks ahead because she doesn’t want to be standing there looking stupid if he doesn’t open the door.  I guess that’s how I look at it as well.  Sometimes I hesitate just a second, but I’m not sure that it’s long enough for him to even notice.  There have been times when I go to open the door and I find that we’re both reaching at the same time.  After listening to their conversation, it makes me wonder if I’m allowing him to laze out.  If I’m letting him fall back.  He should have to step up and maybe I should power down.  I think that we get so independent and we don’t want to seem high maintenance, so we let guys fall back and then wonder what happened later.  

The single woman also stated that she should’ve known that something was up when she was dating her ex-husband.  They went to his mothers house and his mother was lugging trash out of the house.  She asked him why he wasn’t helping his mom and his mom chimed in and  said that he never helps out around the house.  That was a big clue.  If he’s not going to help his mother, he surely isn’t going to help you.  His mother let him laze out.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you don’t care, then you don’t care.  But in the grander scheme of things, you can’t let him fall back in the beginning and then wonder what happened later. We have to do a better job of deciding what we'll settle on.  If something is important to you and that guy isnt doing it and wont do it, you have to just accept that he's just not your guy.  He may be fine.  Maybe you can hang out every now and again.  But he may not be for you.

~Rae

Of course I have to give a shout out to the Sean Sarvis show.  It's on every Tuesday from 11a-12pm eastern.  If you live in the DC Metro area, you can catch it on 1580am or you can listen to it online here

The Married Man Chronicles: Brown Sugar

Happy New Year Blushing Ladies – it’s been a while since I’ve put pen to paper. While ushering in the New Year I decided to take a look back at all of my unsuccessful dating/relationship attempts to see what where I went wrong. I stumbled on this minor yet very important detail. When I said I wanted a husband..I neglected to mention one that didn’t come with a wife already. Thus the idea was born…the Married Man Chronicles.

 

Dear Mrs. X - Why don’t you ask him, your husband, why he’s acting like he’s single?

Let me provide some back story shall we?

I was at a happy hour at a popular nightclub here in DC on a warm Friday night, when I met a man. *pause for effect* Nice conversation, easy on the eyes, tall…he asked me out and I said yes. No harm, no foul. So we agreed to meet the following Wednesday for breakfast before I had to go to a late morning work meeting. Nothing fancy..just some pancakes and conversation. After breakfast we agreed to go to the movies on Saturday night.

Being the kind person that I am (hold your snickering) I called him that Friday evening to confirm our plans for the next day. I ended up leaving a voicemail. No big deal..he was probably busy. Saturday afternoon rolls around..no return call. I start to get the impression that perhaps things will not go as planned. So being the resourceful girl that I am I started calculating a back up plan. I can’t quite recall what I did but that’s neither here nor there. Sunday rolls around…and it’s my favorite night of the week because the Sopranos are coming on HBO. After my hour long stereotypical Italian mob fantasy was over..my cell phone rings. Who’s calling me at this hour?

 

Me: Hello?

Her: Do you know XYZ?

Me: Yes

Her: Why are you leaving voicemails on my husband’s cellphone

*eye roll and frantic floor pace*

Me: Excuse me?

Her: Why are you leaving voicemails on my husband’s cellphone

*standing still and snapping back to reality*

Me: Why don’t you ask your husband why he’s going around acting like he’s single? I met him a week ago at a happy hour and he made no mention of being married or of your existence

*pause for effect..cause yes damnit I TOOK IT THERE*

Her to him in the background: Oh I don’t exist? Oh you’re not married

Me: *GET HIM GIRL*

*insert him yelling in the background*

Him: Oh I didn’t tell you I was married? Huh? Huh?

Me: Look don’t try and fake in front of your wife..you know good and hell well u didn’t me you were married..

*inaudible arguing*

____________ phone goes dead

 

Now under normal circumstances I would hit redial..but I said “self..she’ll call back”.

 

Monday evening I am leaving Pool League and my cell phone rings …it’s her. She apologizes for how she approached me the night before on the phone. Apology accepted…again no harm, no foul. I proceeded to explain to her the details of how we met. She then informed me that they have a shared cell phone plan and she has access to his call history and she saw my number pop up out the blue. When I left the voicemail she heard it and confronted him. His side of the story – I was a customer he was trying to sell to. *I know I know…negro please*. I politely said to her: “Ma’am (yes I went the extra petty route) I am not a customer of your husband’s. I don’t know what he’s selling and I am not buying. You have my contact information. Should you have any further questions you know how to reach me. Good luck.” We exchanged cordial good byes and I hung up the phone. Feeling vindicated I carried on about my happy lil way thankful I dodged a married man bullet. She did call one more time, but I missed it..and she didn’t leave a message.

 

But would you believe I ran into this bastard just a few weeks later at the same club on another warm Friday night. *le sigh* Let me set the scene for you …it’s key to the story.

 

We are seated on a circular sofa across from about 3-4 men who are within ear and eye shot of what happened next. I am sitting down and he comes and sits his happy dick down beside me. (yes I said happy dick. Don’t judge me)

 

Him: Hey, How are you?

Me: I am fine

Him: I am sorry about what happened a few weeks back. I hope we can still be friends. He puts his hand on my thigh and my *black out begins about now*

Me: Friends? You can’t possibly think we can be friends?

Him: shock and awe washes over his face

Me: How’s your wife? Doe she know you’re out here at happy hour acting like your single still? Would you do me a favor and tell her I said hello.

*black out fades and I return to reality*

The men across from us couldn’t pick their jaws up off the floor fast enough, in part because I wasn’t nasty about it. As a matter of fact I was quite cordial. I then politely removed his hand from thigh and sauntered away.

 

 

That was the last time I saw him at any happy hour in DC.

Hey lady can you spare a dime, and your phone number

The craziest things happen when I go back home to the DC area.  This was in MD at the CVS on Branch Ave.  I run in to grab something and pull up right in front of the door.  I see about 5 or 6 teenagers standing outside.  I know that they are  going to ask for money because that's what usually happens in this situation.  Sure enough, when I got out of the car, one of them asked if I would give them some money so that they could eat.  Keep in mind, the gentleman that I was speaking to had well kept dreadlocks and his shoes were pretty decent.  They all looked well kept, but hey, who am I to judge.  I was on my cell when I walked in, so I just waived them off and said "no thanks."  He politely said, "ok, thank you very much."  I was pleased that they didn't keep asking and say something rude. 

 On my way out, one of them started to ask for money again, but realized that he'd already asked.  We both laughed and I walked to my car.  One of his friends who could not have been more than 17 proceeded to walk in my direction and say "umm she thick too and cute.  Can I have your number?"  I politely shook my head no.  Then he pulls out his cell phone and says, "Can I give you mine?"  And I'm not talking about an old flip phone.  I'm talking about a current cell.  Now let's talk about what's wrong with this picture.

I am 34.  Clearly too old for him.  And ummm, he had a CELL PHONE.  If you're hungry, sell it.  At least dress down a bit if you're asking people for money.  I know that you can't judge a book by it's cover and blah, blah, blah.  Maybe his parents buy him clothes and not food.  But really?  A cell?

Am I crazy?  If he can't feed himself, how is he going to take a grown woman like me out?  But I'll tell ya what, as I snickered on my way out of the parking lot, I thought, "there's no place like home."

My how relationships have changed

 
Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn-together for more than 25 years, unmarried.

Hey Blushing Ladies

Today is more of a ramble than a post

It seems that all i'm hearing these is days is how times have changed.  How relationships have changed.  People are more apt to be in long term relationships complete with kids and a home, than get married.  We hear more about open relationships and jump offs who are content with their status.  Just this morning, Tom Joyner's commentator, Stephanie Robinson, spoke about people being more likely NOT to wed.  I didn't get to hear all of it, but i'll be sure to catch it online.  Anyway, what's happened?

I remember when I was a young girl, all that I could dream about was having a career and getting married.  Granted, it hasn't happened yet, the marriage part anyway.  But when I dreamed of me and Michael Bivenshaving a life together, we were going to have two little boys and a house together.  But in that scenario, I dreamed of us getting married first.  Now it seems that girls are thinking of having their boyfriends children and getting married later.  Maybe it's because so many of us grow up in one parent households and so many of our friends have one parent households, it all seems normal.  Although, I grew up in a one parent household and still knew that i'd be Mrs. Bivens.  Or maybe i'm just getting older, so reality it catching up with me. 

I told someone about the married man situation that I was in a few weeks ago and she said, so are you still going to talk to him?  I probably looked at her like somebody stole my dog.  What for?  But I think that a lot of girls would've.  He was cute, he was nice to me, and hey, him and his woman might break up some day right?  Hellz no.  It's just not me. 

I spoke with another girl about how many married or otherwise unavailable men I run into.  To put it simply, most of them aren't single.  She corrected me and stated that, there's plenty of them.  Some of them are just in "situations."  They want to leave, they just haven't yet.  Ok.  That's fine for her.  But for me.  I can't see it.  If you want to leave, go.  Especially if you aren't married, if you just have a girl.  Don't leave because i'm there.   Put on your man draws and go.  But again, alright for some, not for me.  The crazy thing is that I wasn't shocked.   Back in the day I would've had my hand over my mouth pointing and saying "oooooohhhhh" like Dee on What's Happening.  These days I just laugh at the stories and hope it all works out for everyone involved.  I'm not much of a judger.  Lord knows, I might've done a thing or two in my younger days.

I even know someone who's girl told them that she didn't want to marry him, but she'd have his baby.  Seriously?  Wow. Now, that one made me take a step back.  There's nothing more important to me than the other half of the DNA that I am putting into my child.  If it's good enough for my little one, then it's good enough for me.  But hey, I am getting up there in age.  Who knows what i'll do if I get older and don't find my prince charming.  Will I pull an old boyfriend out of the stack and get knocked up?  That's a shivering thought.  Let's move on.

There seems to be so many people that are happy in their relationships and just plan to dip out every once in a while.  Either the other half is in the know and just plan to turn a blind eye or they forgive and forget.  Many of the couples in my family that have been married for over 25 or 30 years have lived through some form of infidelity.  They seem happy now.  Especially the ones in their 70's who don't really have the energy to run around anymore.  The old school women just kinda kept home and waited for it to pass.  I don't have the nerve to bring it up, but when I speak to the younger wives about how they withstood and how saddened it makes me, they say "wait till you've been married "X" amount of years and talk to me then."  So that being said, the cheating isnt new, but I guess more people deciding to deal with it while not married is.  And we all know that there are way more women getting into the game.  We're slipping out just as much as the men.  So are they right?  What's going on?  I know that i've had to let Mike B. go, but is this whole non-married/jump off role just something that one should expect?

I've been bamboozoled by a whorin married man

Hi friends.  Ok. This is one for the books.  I wasn't paying enough attention and I've been bamboozled.  

So I'd been seeing this guy that works for the same company that I do.  He doesn't work with me directly.  In fact, we just happened to meet each other in passing.  He's only in my building once a week for about an hour.  Other than that.  I don't really see him at work.  

Anyway, things were decent.  He had 2 kids.  One was a little younger than I'd normally like.  4 months.  There were a few things that he did that had him headed for the bubble.  And the bubble is not a good place.  It's like probation.  When I say that a guy has been put on the bubble, he's in trouble, cause once the bubble has burst, it's a wrap.  I should've followed my instinct.

Anyway, I digress.  So we'd been seeing each other, having lunch together. He'd spent the night once.

Well, this past saturday I got a text.  As a matter of fact, since we're all so close, I'll share the exact text and what was going through my head.

Him: Look can you tell this girl that we work together
Me:   Tell what girl
Him: The mother of my children
(Screech, um first of all, to my knowledge, he has two kids and two baby mamas.  From the above i've figured out that he's in a relationship with the youngest mom and i'm HOT.  I'm wondering if she's reading his text and sooo)
Me:   We work together and not that we're seeing each other?  What r u talkin about.  Y would I have to tell her that.  What is going on.
Him:  Just tell her we work together so she can stop askin questions bout u.
Me: Y is she asking about me and how would I even talk to her...is she gonna call me or something.
HIm: Probably
Me:  She has my number?  Fine tell her to call me.
(Clearly I wasn't getting anything out of him and I was NOT happy.  I had 3 back to back calls from an unidentified number that didn't leave a voicemail about 2 hours before this.  I wasn't sure if that was her.)

So then my phone rings

Me: What is the issue.  Why am I even involved in any of this.
Him: Can you just tell her that we work together at xyz company in our (work city) and we work together.  
Me: WHAT! ( i meant it rhetorically by the way)
Him: Can you just tell her that we work together at xyz company in our (work city) and we work together.  
(I'm bewildered by his audacity and he had the nerve to sound frustrated, so I go quite for a second.)
Him: Hello
Me:Yeah
Him: Can you just tell her that we work together at xyz company (I interrupt)
Me: Stop repeating yourself and put her on the phone if you are going to do it.
Her: Hello
Me: Hi
Her: How do you know my husband
(Errrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk)
Me: Your what?
Her: My husband
Me: He's married?
Her: Yes, he's married and we have 3 kids.  
Me: He said he had two.  

So just to sum it all up, she confirmed that he has 1 biological with her and the other two that live with them are hers from a previous relationship.  He does have another biological son that doesn't live with them.  She goes on to ask how we met, yadda, yadda, yadda.  We were probably only on the phone for a couple of minutes or so.  She was obviously sitting right next to him because every once in a while she'd say something to him like, "Oh, I'm just a baby mama huh?" and then ask another question.  All I know is that the night that he stayed with me, he must've told a big one because when she put two and two together on the date, she said "you mutha--," I heard a thump and the phone went dead.  I'm not sure if she hit him or hit him with the phone.  Honestly, I don't care.

My thing is that how did he expect me to lie for him when he'd lied to me?  In fact, he and I just happened to be watching cheaters a couple of weeks before and I specifically said, If a chick and cameras come up on me and I don't know that the dude is married, he's going under the bus.  If I knew that he was married, then I'd have to take the L and take my lumps, but if he lies to me, he's short.  I mean we had this EXACT conversation. What did he expect me to do?  

So after all of this, what do I get later that night?  A text that simply says, "I'm sorry."  I'm sitting here thinking, are you serious?  My reply said, "Dude save it..ur such a liar..and i cant believe u thought that i'd actually lie 4 u after u lied to me...u r trippin..u suck..apology NOT ACCEPTED"

After all of this, I relay an abridged version to one of my guy friends.  Do you know what this dude said?  It was grimy that I dimed him out.  I must've wanted to hurt the girl because I was hurt.  Guys are so stupid sometimes.

I told him that the only way that she could've known about me is if she read his text and if she read his text, she already knew.  He was always mucho descriptive in his texts to me.  There is nothing worse than you knowing something and someone keeps lying to you.  And she said that she knew that he was trying to text me on what to say earlier.  So while I didn't owe her anything, I certainly didn't owe him anything at this point.  And let's not forget.  I told him what was going to happen if he lied.  He chose to lie, I followed through on what I promised.  He's taking sympathy for this shystey little liar that he doesn't even know.  I told him that it makes me look at him sideways now.   I gave this dude plenty of opportunities to tell the truth.  He didn't.  So, oh well.  I've never had a wife or girlfriend call me before.  I can't believe it.  Even if I walked in a restaurant and he was with his wife, I'd say hello and keep it moving.  But for her to call me.  And him to come at me with instructions.  Uh uh.  Violation.  I'm going back to the old me.  I'm always told, "well give him a chance, you're being to hard."  But this didn't happen before.  I always had a reason to do whatever I did.  I went against my instinct and this is what happens.  I know how Sheree felt last night on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  I let him in a little too early.   This dude.

Blushing Ladies:
What would you have done?  What's your opinion? 

P.S. Did you see "The Doctor" on The Housewives with dress pants, dress shirt, blazer and flip flops.  *side eye*

UPDATE: The wife called and sent me a text. Read here 

A Possible?

Ok I haven't updated you on the love life lately because there isn't much to tell. Jeezy is still around, but not that much. He lives about 3 hours away. A friend of mine decided to hook me up with a friend of her boyfriend. She didn't know much about him though. Just that he was big and tall. His body looks like the hulk. That's a good thing. So I spoke to him and asked the general questions. Are you married? No; Girlfriend? No; Boyfriend? No; kids? Possibly. So of course I ask what that means. Here's what he said.

"I was messin around with this girl. I felt like she was messin around with somebody else and she got pregnant. The baby (A girl) was born a month early and was only 1 pound. When they said that she needed a blood transfusion, I found out she was B-. I'm not B-. See my mamas a nurse and she said that the father determines the blood type. My blood-type is different, so that's when I knew for sure that she wasn't mine.  Plus, when I told her nurse my blood-type she was lookin at me funny. I think she knew too. I knew I should've gotten a DNA test while she was already in the hospital. I knew it! But I'm gonna get a test. I'm telling you, that girl aint meant to be a mother. She missing doctor appointments and everything.  I told her mother (meaning the grandmother) that she needs to go and get the baby."

So then this is how it goes
Me: What will you do if it's not your baby.
Him: I'ma tell her mama to go and get the baby.  That girl just aint right.
Me: What if it is?
Him: I'ma file for custody
Me: How old is the baby?
Him: One and a half
Me: *side eye* Well brotha you'd better hurry up and figure out what's going on. Especially if you expect to dip out of the childs life if it isn't yours.
Him: Well I may not want to know
Me: Well you should be acting like it's yours then.  If you don't want to know, take the same steps that you would if it's yours.
Him: Yeah, I mean, we don't mistreat the baby or nothin.  But even my mama said that the baby don't look like us.  It don't have our chin or eyes or nothin.
Me: How often do you see her
Him: I try to go over there about twice a week.  With my work schedule, I don't get to see her that much.

Now.  I'm the first to admit that i'm super sensitive about the whole "daddy thing."  I'll be the first to admit that I probably have "daddy issues."  How a man handles his off-spring is really important to me because I could be in that situation at any time.  Plus I think that it shows maturity and responsibility.  We aren't 18 anymore.  So my level of respect drops when a guy doesn't accept responsibility and especially doesn't own up to it.  Some may say, "Hey, I wasn't there, but I'm there now."  I can dig it.  But something nags at me when I hear a version of the Maury show.  You can hear it everyday on his show.  The guy dates a girl, then as soon as she gets knocked up he's yelling, "That baby aint' mine.  She was messin with 8 of my homeboys Maury."  And when Maury ask what he'll do if it is his.  "I'ma take the baby Maury.  She's no good."  Ummm, if she's that bad, why didn't you step in before. 

But anyway, We had to get off of the phone. But my questions are:  If the child needed to go to the doctor, why call Grandma.  Why didn't you take her?  He never mentioned that the girl wouldn't let him see the baby.  And I understand the men that are in the "Dwayne Wade" type of situations with the crazy baby mothers that you are fighting to see your kids.

He was very adament about the girls mother steppin in.  Not so much about him taking over.  It's been a year and a half.  At some point, dont you have to accept the child as your own or find out.  If you accept the child then when someone says, "Do you have a child," you answer Yes.  If he wants custody, he can take her to court and have the blood test there. 

That's just my first impression of this man.  I'd like to get a little more info, but I have a serious side eye to this dude right now.  If my instincts are right, we can be cool, but it would take a lot for me to take him seriously with regards to dating.  I guess there are a lot of unanswered questions right now, but from the part that I know, I'm not impressed.  A friend of mine thinks that it's not his because he wouldn't leave the baby in that situation if it was.  I say he probably thinks it is, because if the baby wasn't, he would've gotten the test and removed himself from that situation by now.  Once it's confirmed that it's his, there's no reason not to step up.

What do you think?  Would you take him seriuosly after all this?  Am I just reading too much into this?