Blushblog

Phytospecific Product Review + Make Christmas Cookies with the Kids

OK, you all know that I love finding good hair care products.  I can't help myself.  To me, there is nothing like a good product that makes your hair feel good and you feel good about your hair.  Over the course of my adult life, I have tried numerous product lines, includes Pantene, Optimum, Motions, At One, and the list goes on. 

For some time now, I have heard of the greatness of Phyto but I never took the time to seek it out.  I mean, its not at Target or my local Sally's Beauty Supply.  Once I heard that Oprah and Michelle Obama use it, I figured that if it is good enough for the Queen of Media and my First Lady then certainly I can give it a whirl.  After reading about the levels of Phyto treatment on the Phyto website, I decided that the Phytospecific Level Two Intense Nutrition was the best match for me.  I bought the Intense Nutrition Shampoo and the Intense Nutrition Mask.  I love and love these products.  My hair was soft and clean and tangle free.  Most importantly, it did not strip my hair.  My hair behaved very very well after blow drying and styling.  I only added Moroccan Argan Oil and my hair was perfect.

I also washed my daughter's hair with the shampoo and conditioner and adored the way it made her hair feel.  Her hair is sandy brown and dries out very easily.  Phytospecific did not dry out her hair like pretty much every other product I have tried.  I have to say this is by far the best and most successful shampoo and conditioner products I have used on her hair.  Trust me, I have all kinds and sorts of unfinished products under our bathroom sink.

Phytospecific offers several styling products that I am looking forward to trying, including the Moisturizing Styling Balm, Beauty Styling Creme, Integral Hair Care, and Extreme Shine Spray.  Stay tuned for those reviews.  Phytospecific hair products can be purchased at salons and online at www.sephora.com and other sites.  Visit www.phyto.com for a list of salons carrying Phytospecific products in your area.

Another tip = Moroccan Argan Oil is the truth.  It is a dry oil (meaning that it is not oily) derived from the argan tree.  It is full of Vitamin E and fatty acids.  Great for your hair and skin.  Add a cap full to your conditioner or apply it to dry hair.  I am now a Argan Oil groupie.

MAKE CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAY COOKIES WITH THE KIDS

Candy Cane Cookies

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup sifted confectioners' sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 teaspoons almond extract
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup crushed peppermint hard candies
• 1/2 cup white sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, combine butter, confectioners' sugar, egg, almond extract and vanilla extract. beat until smooth. Mix in flour and salt.
3. Roll into 4 inch strips, place on baking sheet. Curve top down to form handle of cane.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 9 to 10 minutes. While still warm, remove from pan and sprinkle with candy and sugar mixture.

Sugar Cookie Cutouts

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
• 1/2 cup colored sugar for decoration

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, cream together the butter and sugar. Stir in the eggs and vanilla. Sift together the flour and baking powder, stir into the creamed mixture alternately with the heavy cream. Cover dough, and chill for 2 to 3 hours, until firm.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets.
3. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into desired shapes with cookie cutters. Place cookies 1 inch apart on the prepared cookie sheets. Sprinkle with colored sugar if desired.
4. Bake for 12 to 14 minutes in the preheated oven, until bottoms and edges of cookies are light brown. Remove from baking sheet and cool on wire racks. Store in an airtight container.

Changing my Perception of Communication

Earlier in the year, I made a pledge to communicate more with my friends and family.  It has worked for most, but not for all (click the link to read the post).  Some people are just happier not talking about certain things.  They would rather just feel how they're going to feel and have you feel how you're going to feel.  And that's it.  There's no in-between. 

In the post I stated that my brother thought that it was a bad idea to be so open to my mom because i'd never bring her to my mode of thinking.  I'll think that i'm doing a good thing by sharing everything and saying oh, so and so is having a birthday, so i'll be at her house next weekend.  My mom will say ok.  That sounds nice.  Have fun.  But then she'll sit down with the rest of the family about how I completely ignored her that weekend and I never see her.  Completely skipping over all of my other attempts and the fact that I told her about it months ago. 

It's what I call the NAATT mode.  Many of you parents go through it with your toddlers and teens.  I'm sure that I had it back in the day.  So maybe this is get back for me. 

NAATT mode is never/always/all the time.   In a pre-teen it's when everything angers them.  They can't give you a specific example, but there's no way for you to make them happy.

Child: Why can't I go back outside, you never let me do anything.  You're so mean to me. 
Parent: When are we mean to you
Child: Always.
Parent: Like when
Child: All the time

And then he'll go into the time when he was 5 and his parents bought him one pokemon game instead of two.  He'll skip the last 7 years where he's gotten to go to basketball camp, gotten two game systems, gone to nba games that he wanted, etc. 

Again, I know I had it.  Who knows, although I work hard at not getting it, maybe it'll slip in again.  It would be nice if we left this in childhood, but we often don't.  Sometimes we go through periods where there's no pleasing us.  So I have to recognize when that moment hits my loved ones and I have to leave people alone.  My trying to work through it and communicate isn't going to help the situation and when my efforts aren't appreciated, I get frustrated.  So in the end, we're both fuming. 

So I'm rethinking my pledge of communication.  Just because I think that it's better to communicate,  does that mean that it's best for everyone?  Communication will always be the first thing that I try but I have to learn not to force it on people.  I'll always be closer to those who I can be open with, but I don't have to be super close to everyone. 

I guess i'm just more bothered when people don't talk and spread skewed stories.  It's like finding out that your best friend is telling lies about you behind your back.  You don't want to care, but you know that you do.  As a result, I try not to do the same.  Everyone needs to vent.  I keep my venting circle very small.  This includes all of you :).  While certain people anger me, I don't want others to pass judgment on them and see them in a negative light, so I tend not to share with everyone.  There are things that bother me about my brother, cousins, parents, etc, but if someone else says something about them.  It's gonna be on.  So why should I contribute to the madness. 

It's such a cliche' but I have to keep the serenity prayer running through my head because you can't change people and you probably shouldn't try:
"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'm learning the difference. 

 

Toddler Seeks to Control Government, Plans Coup

Several years ago, the Creator blessed my parents with eternal life.  Since that time, I have sought ways to fill the two gaping holes in my life.  Those ways have included everything from the bible to vodka.  Three years ago, the Creator blessed me with a life that I never knew I was ready for.  That life can in the form of a wonderful baby girl.  Like any mom, I loved her immediately and intensely.  Since her laborious entry into our lives, she has proved herself quite the force.  Having often been told by my father that I was a stubborn and fiercely independent child, I can only imagine the bouts of laughter and knee slapping my parents must be sharing as my husband and I battle the wills and charms of this amazing little girl.  On any given day, during any given hour, in any given minute, she is charming, stubborn, clever, hot-headed, funny, fiery, self-assured, sweet and/or willful.  Choose any combination and I do not know whether to laugh at her or punish her.

At her costume/3rd birthday party on Halloween, she decided that she did not want to wear her costume.  This rebellion ensued despite the fact that she picked out the costume.  She was the Cat in the Hat but the day of the party she decided, "I want to be a mom cat not the cat in the hat."  It took several minutes of mom/auntie/daddy psychology to get her into that costume.  Over the course of the party, my stubborn child managed to change clothes three times.  Pointing out that all of her guests were wearing costumes did nothing to ease the heel she dug so firmly into the ground.  At this point, I am sure you are asking why I didn't just leave well enough alone and let her wear her dress instead.  Easy.  I decided she was going to wear that costume because she picked it out, I paid for it, and her guests had all arrived in their costumes.  All proper little girls should be good hosts.  The final showdown occurred right before we decided to take the party to the streets. (Take the kids, trick or treating at few houses on the block, that is.)  When I told her she could not go unless she wore her costume, she marched over to where I was sitting on the floor, planted her forehead on mine, pushed her nose into mine, tighten her eyebrow, squinted her eyes, straightened her arms like two sewing pins, clinched her fists, and said, "I don't like my costume. I don't want to wear my costume."  Her ire soon weakened when she realized she was going to be left in the house.  There is nothing like a good follow through to rope in an ornery toddler moment.

Give the girl her shoes.  Since she learned how to walk, my child has had a love affair with shoes.  I have had to hang my pumps and boots on hangers since she was 10 months old so she wouldn't go twisting her ankles or tumbling around the house.  Refusing to be thwarted by height, she learned that if she shook and pulled on the clothes hung next to the shoes in the closet she could cause the shoes to fall.  Every female soul that walks into this house has had to share her shoes with my daughter.  She has even tried to wear her black patten leather Mary Jane's to the pool, to bed, and to the park.  Well, mere days ago, I unwittingly took my child to paradise.  A paradise also known as DSW.  The trip was supposed to result in a new pair of pumps for me.  When I opened the door and ushered her in front of me, she took two steps and said with a mixture of delight and awe, "Wow, Mama, wow. Look at all the shoes."  She proceeded to take off her shoes in the middle of the store.  Apparently, DSW is better than Toys R Us.  So moms, if your little girl is anything like mine, DSW entertains as good as any toy store.

My son is 8 months and has his sister's mischievous grin.  I can only imagine what he is planning for us.

Gotta love the kids.

A Glimpse Into the Future

I got a call from a good friend of mine yesterday.  Her 8 year old daughter, Camryn,  is one of my god children.  Here is how the conversation went

Me: Hello
Her: I'm going to take you to court for child support because I think that Camryn is really your child
Me: Uh-oh, what'd she do
Her: She had to get a shot today and did really well, so I told her that since she did such a great job, she could pick where we'd go for dinner.
Me: Ha! What'd she say
Her: So I'm thinking that we'd go big time like Chic-fil-a or the pizza place down the street.  This child proceeds to tell me, "Well, maybe we can go to Flemings or to Twisted Fork (cheaper than Flemings, but moderately priced.  It's not a Chilis).  But we go to Twisted Fork all the time." 

So at this point I'm dying laughing.
She says, "Well Camryn, when have you been to Flemings."  Camryn says, "Isn't that where all of us went last time."  She said no, that was McCormick and Schmidt.  We were originally going to go to Flemings, but we went to McCormick and Schmidt because her brother is a picky eater and they had a more kid-friendly menu.

By the way, my friend and I ordered off of the super cheap happy hour menu, her brother ordered chicken fingers off of the kids menu.  My god-daughter also ordered off of the kids menu.  But she ordered Salmon.  The kid knows how to get down.

While I was on the phone with my friend, I couldn't resist bridging my mother in and she advised my friend that it never ends, so get used to it.  She'd ask me where I wanted to go for my birthday when I was younger and while she was expecting McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese, I'd say Red Lobster (which was considered a big deal back then) and Houstons in Georgetown. 

Is this how my kids are going to be?  It's easy for god-mommys to dress the ladies up and take them out to teas and fine dining establishments, but if I have multiple children, they wont see the inside of a Steakhouse for a while.

I sooo love other peoples children!

Products of the Week - Organics, Back to School, Fall Fashions

As the kids head back to school or to school for the first time, all mom's can attest to the Back to School Hustle.  It is time for new backpacks, fall clothes, and shoes for the season.  Well, there is no better time to combine shopping with investing in eco-friendly and human friendly causes. 

I have discovered www.WildDill.com.  Wild Dill offers organic clothing and accessories from newborn sizes to size 5.  The website also offers organic toys for small children and toddlers.  What is even better is that the products are the result of fair trade.  No sweatshops!

Pediatricians frequently stress the importance of buying quality footwear for kids.  As a result, I am always looking for deals on quality kids shoes.  I have discovered www.vincentshoestore.us.  Vincent sells infant, toddler, and kids sizes.  There are many cool styles and colors to choose - from prewalker shoes to rainboots to dress shoes.  I am in love. 

I have just become a serious groupie of www.CCforLife.com.  I love love and love the carved rings, pendants, and bracelets.  You can carve any name or names or date on your jewelry.  It is a great gift idea for anyone who is special to you.  Plus it is a good alternative to tattooing your loved ones name on your arm.

Ladies, you gotta love this cute cashmere vest for the fall.  Find it at Banana Republic.

You need at least one daring shoe for the season.  This one is by Kelsi Dagger.  Find it at Nordstrom.

Random Ramblings

I often come across things in everyday life that I like to share with my favorite blushing ladies, but I don't necessarily want to write a whole post on them.  So every once in a while, I like to share random ramblings.  Here are a few things that have stuck out to me.  Click on the underlined sections for referenced materials:

• This happened a while ago, but still makes me smile every time that I see a nice car.

Here's the conversation between my 6 year old cousin and I after we see a very nice sports car drive down the street. 

Him: Whoa.  That's a nice car.

Me: Yeah it is.

Him: That's an expensive car

Me: You think it's expensive?

Him: Yeah

Me: How much do you think it cost

Him: *Eyes wide and face very astonished*  About $1500 or something.

Gotta love the kid.

• I LOVE great season finales.  If you didn't see the finales to Medium and Law & Order SVU.  Try to catch them online.  They were great.

• For some reason I felt some kind of way about this manicure comment.  Like the lady isn't suppose to keep it together or something.  Or since you're going through marital trouble, your nails are suppose to look like scraggly claws

• Now I'm game for different views and positions, BUT, James Harrison is an idiot.  He didn't want to go to the white house because the only reason that President Obama was inviting the team was "because they won the Super Bowl."  He stated that if Arizona would've won, the President would've invited them.  Well duh!  Being invited to the White House is one of the perks of winning the Super Bowl.  He wants the prez to invite him because of him.  Yeah, whatever dude.  I could've respected him more if he had just left it at, "I'm just not that interested in meeting the president."  Craziness.  Maybe the prez taken the position that he wasn't gonna host all of those people that came for the inauguration.   Because if he wasn't president.  They wouldn't have come to see him.  Idiot.

• I'm excited to see who will make The Real Housewives of DC.  But I'm ready for them to stop it.  Let's work with the areas that we've got.

• My friends are pretty fly and soaring to great heights personally and professionally.  Kudos!

• Ummm, Why?  Make it Stop.  Is this what my children will be entertained by?  Or Worse, Doing?
  

• This is a conversation that I heard while at the nail shop last Friday.  There was a very cute little girl sitting next to me getting her nails done.  She was about 7 or so.  She had a little brother who I'm guessing was about 4.  The nail lady was telling her what a pretty little girl she was.  Then out of the blue, she said the below:

Little Girl: I don't want kids
Nail Lady: Really, why not?
Little Girl: Cause it'll hurt when they cut open your stomach to take the baby out
We all laugh
Little Brother: I'm gonna have kids
Little Girl: You can't have kids.  Your a boy.  Your girlfriend will have kids.

Ummm, girlfriend?  Really?  I thought that it was a little strange that she jumped to that instead of wife.  My how times have changed.

• A facebook friend had a great quote posted on her page.  It's great to be reminded of this every once in a while.  It's a quote posted in an article with Trin-i-tee 5:7.  "We as women need to keep the big picture in mind; we can’t make permanent decisions based on temporary
  situations."  Isn't that the truth!

Happy Hump Day Ladies

Blushing Ladies Speak:
Do you have any ramblings or things that you've noticed?

Growing Up

As I tend to the needs of my newborn, my oldest is entering a new stage of her life.  She seems so ready to leave her toddler years behind and she is only two and a half.  My husband and I dropped her off for her preschool evaluation this morning.  As we walked down the halls of the school and saw the grade school age kids working on projects and changing classes, I realized that my baby is embarking on the beginning of her school age years.  Her dad and I felt like we were dropping her off at college.  It was that same sense of vulnerability we felt the first time we dropped her off at daycare after my maternity leave expired.  Although I didn't crumble into tears and feel huge surges of guilt like I did on that day, I still got that aching knot in my throat.  

We are losing our baby.  We are supposed to.  She is supposed to grow and mature and progress.  As parents, it is our job to ensure that she is on track with and exceeding her developmental expectation.  Her vocabulary and reasoning get stronger every day.  She surprises us with something new every day.  She has exchanged her pull-ups for Dora Explorer cotton underwear.  She asks to take a shower rather than a bath.  She tells us exactly which outfit she wants to wear and is concerned with not messing up her hair.  I watch her in amazement at least three times a day.  Is this my baby girl?  When did she get so tall?  When did she get so strong?  Where did she get this willfulness?  I look at her and then shift my eyes to her baby brother.  She used to be his size, but soon he will be her age.  He will accomplish all the milestones that she has.  We will be dropping him off for his preschool evaluation.  For a split second, I felt the desire to have a third child but my sanity quickly resets as my youngest wails and my oldest attempts to swing from the banister.

A Wonderful New Addition

Hello Everyone

Great News.  Our own Nadia has delivered a new bundle of joy.  Our new blushing boy was born at 11:45 last night.  Mom and baby are doing great. 

I was fortunate enough to witness the delivery of "our" little one. As you may or may not know, I don't have any children.  So watching the birthing process was quite an experience.

So here are the Top 10 things that I learned from watching the birthing process.

1. Medicine is your friend.  It can take a woman from a candidate in the exorcist to an angel without wings.
2. Once the transition to angel is accomplished, the characters from men in black come in and erase the new moms brain.  This must be the case because the new mom does not remember the incidents and language used before the medicine was administered.
3. During the labor process, non-moms will declare celibacy with every contraction.  Just to be extra sure that this doesn't happen to her.
4. A labor pain can throw a bustling hospital room into complete silence
5. Each stage of the process yields a better room. The "labor room" was like an efficiency apartment.  Small, little amenities and some shared facilities. The birthing room was like a condo. Bigger. More private, bright, and sunny. The recovery room was like a penthouse.
   Flat screen tv's, made to order breakfast, and a comfy couch.
6. During the labor process, the baby will come when THEY are ready.  No matter how much you try to negotiate with them through the belly.
7. Said lack of compliance yields much frustration with the baby that is completely forgotten as soon as the top of that wonderful little head peeks out.
8. The decision that "This is the last baby" can be made by the mother alone and communicated in a loud, stern manner to the husband in between each push.  
9. You can learn a lot from great doctors and wont be grossed out.  Nadia's sister, husband, and I got a quick lesson on the job of the placenta.  It may sound gross to some, but she made it quite interesting.
10. Once the new baby is held, the men in black show up again and wipe away all non-moms previous vows of celibacy and she is once again open to thoughts of having her own.

Thank god for our wonderful blushing boy.

Blushing Ladies Speak

What have you learned from the birthing process?  Non-moms, what have your learned from your friends birthing experiences?

Mom and So Real Economics

I and every one I know are hunkering down on the dollar, watching for sales, cutting back on the luxuries and suddenly adhering to budgets that were once mocked and ignored.  There is nothing like decreased production numbers at work and not so secret HR closed door meetings to humble a once active member of the consuming public.  Unfortunately, in my profession, when the business world slows so do our services to it.  I wonder if my archnemesis, Sallie Mae, will understand.  (My insightful opinions of the higher education business will have to for another day and another blog.  I need time to cultivate the proper articulation of my angst.  Right now, I digress.)

My new fiscal conservation project has resulted in the end of my weekly visits to Target  to wander through the aisles of beauty and bath products.  Target brand shampoo and its generic tribute to Dove body wash have never been so exotic.  Compare and save.  We have ended the daily runs to Starbucks and opt instead for our quaint little coffee maker.  There is nothing like a Po'Bo' Latte.  Folgers and milk.  Divine.  I now treat my fashion magazines as great fantasy short stories that are filled with wonder and intrigue from far off lands.  Who knew mystical people have such great fashion?  Too bad I can't buy that stuff anywhere.

I know I have expressed my disdain for credit cards in this economy on a previous post to this blog, but I must repeat...Vanquish them from your life.  If they were thieving opportunists prior to this economy, they are now rogue stormtroopers.  I have heard tales of their war crimes.  If you are five days late on a payment, these dingoes will hunt you down like it is the Thunderdome.

However, this tough economy can inspire creativity and opportunity.  If you are not out spending money, then you should be at home thinking of ways to make money or utilize what you have.  Think of ways to conserve money and network.  I have heard of women getting together to create a "mom exchange".  If you have a child who has outgrown his or her clothing and/or toys and you are looking to clean out what he or she is not using, consider finding a mom or moms in your neighborhood, church, job or at your child's daycare who can use your former goods in exchange for something that your child needs.  For example, I have tons of girls' infant and toddler clothes that are in excellent condition, but since I am pregnant with a boy I am looking to exchange my daughter's wardrobe for a boy's wardrobe with a mom in the reverse situation.  Get to know the women around you.  You may be surprised how your can help each other.

BLUSHING LADIES SPEAK:
Have you started a mom exchange?  How is it working for you?  What other ways are you conserving your dollars?  Have fiscal concerns sparked your creative energy?

Little Miss Perfect and the Preschool Shuffle

WE TV has a reality series entitled Little Miss Perfect.  It tracks the world of kiddie pageants.  I managed to choke down one episode before I was so completely sickened that I had to turn the channel.  The parade of little girls in their make-up faced and prosthetic teeth wonder was alarming, concerning, and creepy.  The mothers, however, are revolting.  Clearly, there is a whole underworld of child exploitation that the state departments of Social Services should be investigating. 

The mothers' intent sounds promising enough.  They pursue this pageant lifestyle for their girls to teach them confidence and to promote self-esteem.  Ok.  This can't be taught without teasing a 5 year old's hair beyond recognition, layering on make-up, and shoving prosthetic teeth in her mouth to hide that missing tooth phase every child goes through.  Should a five year old look like a grown woman?  Should a mother badger a child for perfection and then say she's doing it to promote her daughter's self-esteem?  Should a five year old look like Julia Robert's Pretty Woman body double?  The real characters in the show are not the children; instead, the mother's steal the show.  It is fitting.  The children are simply the vessels of their mothers' ambitions anyway.

Is it not a parent's job to protect her child's innocence?  As adults, we know that this world will descend on them much earlier than we would like, so why expedite the process?  I'm all for teaching a child how to be confident but there will be plenty of time for red lips and false eyelashes when she's an adult.  She will spend the better part of her adulthood trying to look younger.  Why not let her be her age now?  To look young when youth is present?  As the citizens of an advanced and privileged nation, we have the opportunity to shield our kids from the world's ugliness for a bit longer than citizen's of underdeveloped and/or war torn nations.  We need only look to the newspaper and the internet to see images of lost innocence for the children of Darfur and Palestine and countless other places.  Should not their reality only the more inspire us to wrap our children in their brief years of innocence as long as possible.  Forgive me, but I fail to see how parading them in full face make-up and big hair is anything other than an attack on their childhood.  While I use the kiddie pageant mothers as an example of parental failings, they are not the only one's guilty of vicariously living through their children.  Crazy sports parents are just as bad.  Any parent who projects her own ambitions on her child is just as guilty as the pageant mother. 

There is a fine line between doing what your believe is best for your child's future and development and imposing premature and/or vicarious expectations on them.  I would be self-righteous to criticize the pageant mother and not take a look at my own behavior.  While my daughter is only two, I have already begun to chart a course for her.  I know how competitive and unforgiving this world can be.  I know how fleeting life is.  I know how choosing the wrong path can set you back.  It is my goal to put her in a position to have as many opportunities as possible.  That was my parents' goal for me as well.  Each generation should be in a better position than the last.  I believe I have to chart her course now so that when she is ready to take the helm of her ship the waters are as easy and blue as possible.

So, for now, I'm that mom.  That mom who obsesses over preschools.  That mom who has stalked every preschool within a reasonable radius of our house.  That mom who researches gifted and talented programs despite the fact that her daughter is three years from kindergarten age.  That mom who looks for bilingual preschools and accreditations.  That mom who agonizes over whether to enroll her in a montessori or traditional curriculum based preschool.  That mom who seeks out toddler piano lessons, swimming lessons, gymnastics classes and, when the time is right, tennis lessons.  That mom who thinks that her daughter's smile is the brightest.  That mom who thinks her daughter's laugh is the most charming.  Why?  Because I'm better than you?  No.  Because she is mine, and I must teach her that the world is hers to participate in fully and she must be ready for it.